In the month of love, let's talk about attachment.
Attachment is the emotional bond that is formed first between the child and its caregiver. The theory says that primary caregivers who are available and responsive to an infant's needs allow the child to develop a sense of security. This relationship influences the development of the child and it influences his future relationships as an adult. It creates a coping system - a mental representation for the difficult moments (seen in the case of the children as a separation moment). Because of this, it will provide some behaviors to survive in a difficult moment. Researchers used to separate children from their caregivers and observed their behavior. Based on this, the literature mentioned 4 types of attachment:
  • Secure attachment  - children with this type may be distress when separated from caregivers and joy when the caregiver returns.
  • Ambivalent attachment (or anxious) - it specific for the child who is frightened by separation and continues to display anxious behavior once the caregiver returns.
  • Avoidant attachment - in the case of a child who reacts fairly calmly to a parent’s separation and does not embrace their return.
  • Disorganised attachment - it manifests in odd or ambivalent behavior toward a caregiver upon return—approaching then turning away from or even hitting the caregiver; it may be a result of some traumas.
It seems to be some association between attachment characteristics early in life and those in adulthood, especially for romantic relationships. We may expect some adults, for example, to be secure in their relationships - to feel confident that their partners will be there for them when needed, and open to depending on others and having others depend on them. We should expect other adults, in contrast, to be insecure in their relationships. When you realise what is your attachment style, you can be also aware of the dysfunctional behaviors you have. You understand what behaviors you took with you from childhood and you can start to make some changes on the ones which don’t fit with your adult role anymore
You can find more information about attachment here: 1 , 2 or 3